Some days you just need to see, as SCTV?s Farm Film Report guys Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok used to put it, stuff blowed up real good. If you?re having one of those days, Peter Berg?s Battleship is as good a choice as any. Beyond that, you should know a few things going in: Battleship is allegedly based on the Hasbro game of the same name, but never in the film is the line ?You sunk my battleship!? uttered, so don?t expect a refund. Also, one of the invading aliens ? spoiler, sorry! ? looks a little like the guy from that ?90s Swedish band Stakka Bo.
Now you?re ready for Battleship. Or maybe you?re not. Actually, the picture is perhaps not quite as painful as you might be expecting, though probably not as enjoyable, either. Plotwise, it?s as reasonably well-executed as these messes generally are. Actor-director Berg has made a few not wholly uninteresting films in the past (Hancock, The Kingdom), and while it?s easy enough to compare Battleship cavalierly with a Michael Bay movie, Berg does have a few more brain cells to work with, and here and there in Battleship they twinkle admirably. Also, the picture features a not entirely soulless specimen of beefcake, Taylor Kitsch, veteran of the TV show Friday Night Lights (which was created by Berg, adapted from the movie of the same name, which he directed). Kitsch wasn?t half-bad in the unjustly maligned John Carter, which only proves that we prefer to blast aliens to oblivion rather than land inexplicably on their planets and fall in love with their princesses. What that says about us as a people I prefer not to contemplate.
Kitsch is quite winning in Battleship, a believable human presence in…
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